7 Practical Lessons from To Have and to Hold by Molly Millwood

I read To Have and to Hold by Molly Millwood not long ago, and wow, it really spoke to me! Many of us can connect to the useful lessons in this book, especially when dealing with the ups and downs of being a mum and being married. I think it's important to talk about these seven main points.

1. Recognise how hard it is to be a mother
To begin, Millwood stresses how difficult it really is to be a mother. Aside from the happy times, there are also a lot of hard times and mental challenges that come with it. Though it's easy to think that you should be incredibly joyful all the time, it's actually perfectly normal to feel stressed, worn out, or even angry from time to time. It's not a sign of weakness to recognise these mixed feelings; it's part of the trip. Being aware of and respecting these emotions can help us enjoy all of mom, not just the best parts.

2. Make self-care a priority
Let's talk about taking care of yourself next. It's clear from Millwood that taking time for yourself isn't selfish; it's necessary! It's hard to be there for your family and friends when you're tired. Setting your mental and physical health first is very important. You can do this by giving yourself some alone time with a good book, going for a walk, or doing a sport. You need to recharge in order to be your best self in your interactions.

3. Communication that is open in a marriage
Another big idea in the book is communication. There is a lot of information in Millwood about how important it is to have open and honest talks with your partner, especially when you are a parent. It can help your relationship if you talk about your feelings, your problems, and even your wants. Being open isn't always easy, but it can help partners understand each other better and help each other.

4. Deal with the imbalance of power in your relationships
Millwood also talks about how the balance of power changes after having kids. One partner may feel too busy or take on too many tasks, which can make the other partner angry over time. It is important to see these inequalities and do something about them. Talking openly about roles and standards can make both partners feel supported and valued, which can keep them from getting burned out.

5. Be open to being vulnerable
Another important lesson is to be open to being hurt. Many people see it as a weakness, but Millwood sees it as a strength. It can help you connect with your partner, as well as with friends and family, when you talk about your worries and fears. Being open like this can help people heal and connect more deeply, especially when things are stressful.

6. Change what you expect
Millwood wants her readers to rethink what society and themselves expect from parenting and marriage. We are often held to standards that are too high and can make us feel suffocated. It's freeing to tell yourself that you can stop trying to be perfect and change what success means to you in your life. It's about accepting the way things are and figuring out what works best for you and your family.

7. Set up a way to get help
Finally, let's not forget how important it is to have people who can help you. Being around other moms, family, or friends can make all the difference. When things get tough, having a group to lean on not only helps with the emotional load, but it also gives you a fresh look at things. We all need that group of people who can help us get through the hard times.

In conclusion, these lessons from To Have and to Hold are a strong warning for women who are figuring out how to be a mother and a wife at the same time. They tell us to accept our feelings, put self-care first, talk to each other honestly, and create groups that support each other. It's all about making our lives more balanced and connected!

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